methow grist 2011-2014 archive


Unrequited #1

I have tried to clear my head
Of all those voices
Binding me
To place or thing,
Those salacious, throaty come ons
Trolling for neurons
In the folds of my grey spaces,
Entreating  me with promises
They can’t keep,
Round and round
Never ending,
All my life,
While I chase a grace
Just out of reach.
I breathe,
Count breaths,
In and out,
Going beyond
Going beyond the beyond.
And after years of calling out to it,
Catching a glimpse here and there
As it skips away
At the edge of some sigh,
You would think
I would have heard back by now -
Something besides this echo
Of unanswered prayer
Reverberating like a pin ball
Against the posts and levers 
Of my synaptic landscape.

What a rapacious lover
My ego is.
Such tenacious noise.
How I crave
Some time away.
Nothing permanent, mind you,
And, definitely,
No dating other selves.



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