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District Ranger Says He's Tired of Forests

The head of the Forest Service's Methow Valley Ranger District, who asked to remain unnamed, admitted recently that he's just no longer feeling "the magic in the trees."

"Oh, I still like the dirt and rocks and grass and everything", said the seemingly perplexed leader, "but the whole 'in the woods' thing just isn't doing it for me anymore."

The change of heart is unusual for someone who has dedicated a career to forest work, but not without precedent. A source who wanted to be known only as Zanbar the Mighty Ranger listed others who have met similar transitions like, ". . .that guy on the marking crew that one day threw down his paint can, yelled 'you can keep your stupid Pinus ponderosa' and walked off down the ridge."

It's unclear what affect this sudden shift might have on logistical implementation of interim management strategies on the district, in terms of fiber production in an efficient and effective manner consistent with overarching goals and objectives.

4/1/2012

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